he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
please come you make the beer taste better
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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