we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
