He is like the real live version of the state fair..
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
