Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
