i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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