I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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