She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
