She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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