you're like a bully in the Christmas story
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
