i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
