I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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