Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
