What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
