i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
