i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
