that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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