That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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