It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
