She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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