So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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