Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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