Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
