We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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