my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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