Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
