I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
