I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
