ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize