You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
