just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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