i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize