Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
