Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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