It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
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With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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