I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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