My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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