How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I think I just sharted jello shots
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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