so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
