There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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