the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
