When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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