My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
