No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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