I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I party with great urgency now.
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