Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
