I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
