i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
