what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
