During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize