You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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