I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
