apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize