did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize