Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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