Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
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What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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