So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
