fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
3pm strippers are depressing
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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