did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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