update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize