what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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