Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Rumble strips road head = magical
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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