She's JV to your varsity
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
